Pregnancy Milestone

     I've finally reached a pregnancy milestone that I've been looking forward too! I'm 35 weeks and 2 days.. And I've finally come to the point where I can't see my feet when I stare straight down! I know. You probably think I'm strange.. But I'm so excited to finally be noticeably pregnant and not having everyone think I'm fat!

   Though I'm still feeling depressed, I'm throwing myself into helping my sister in law get things around for my baby shower. I've also just finished an 8 day stretch at work so the exhaustion helped keep my tears away. I've also been reading any extra moment I have .

     It's so strange to think that I'm really growing a baby!

He's a Keeper

     I just are a bowl of strawberry shredded wheat cereal. 10 minutes after, My son started moving like crazy inside of me! He obviously loved it! Then after a few moments he slowed down because he got hiccups. He is so freaking cute. Definitely a keeper. I'm excited that he's overly exciteable like his mom ;)

      He's going to be here within 8 weeks! <3

Only 8 more weeks!

      There's only 8 more weeks until my due date! Today, I was excited all day long. My pregnant friend who is 3 weeks behind me, was telling me how nervous she is because she doesn't have and motherly tendency. I was born with the capacity to love very one like crazy.. And to care. A lot. So I'm not worried about being a mom. My worries are more centered around, I don't know how to be a dad and a mom. No one around me has been through this, so there's no help there either.. I keep praying that Rob will be a part of our life. Every day I'm hopeful, yet I don't ever let myself actually feel the hope, because he's already hurt me more than I can handle..

My Shadows Aren't So Close

      Lately, I've been feeling like there's a shadow surrounding me. Every where I go, I just can't seem to put my heart into it. It's of course, because I'm fighting depression. The only time it seems to fade into the background is when my little Adrian is moving around. When he moves, I finally feel my heart fill up like it rarely does anymore. When I'm working, I have to take a moment to myself because I tried to talk, no words would come out. I'm laying on my bed now and he's moving. I can't believe he's real. It's extraordinary.

      Last night I got up and I felt like my side was lopsided. I ran my hand along my side and it was! He was curled against my side, making me feel very nonproportioned. My love, I'm not sure where I would be if you wouldn't have given me a child. Thankfully we had many months together of love because this child is definitely a love child. 

Sore Ribs

All day, my ribs have been killing me. I checked the symptom online and it seems that this usually happens in the 3rd trimester, but can happen halfway through your 2nd. I'm halfway through the 2nd. It's super painful and I find myself stretching out my body constantly to try and get away from the discomfort. 

       This sleepiness seems to be hitting me again. I'm fine from 6am-2pm.. But then I need a hardcore nap. I just don't enjoy napping, or I really don't have time to.. So sadly, sleep doesn't come to me. It's probably a good thing though because yesterday I actually got a nap but couldn't fall back to sleep later in the night.

Mood swings from H*ll

Fo your information, they were not lying about the mood swings that occur while pregnant. I am a very patient, thoughtful, kind person. My gosh.  Right now? I have no patience. I snap on people a lot. I am thoughtful but sometimes it makes me mad to be so. Then I feel bad about feelin that way and get all sad. Yes, hormones are wonderful.

    It IS funny. When you're not on the receiving end. I laugh afterwards, sometimes. Some people think it's nice to see me be so forward. I'd rather be laid back and kind, but for now I'm trying to find an okay balance.

      I know I said my nausea went away, but apparently I lied. I did not mean to lie. I was hoping not to be lying....

    But it came back. Thankfully, I can go a day or two without growing up! This is great!

      I also have a bit more energy than before.

    I think I felt my baby move! :)

Puking. Oh My.

    Lately, I've been very nauseated. I just haven't puked until three days ago. I'm pretty sure it was because I let my stomach get empty. I ran for the bathroom at the Sheetz gas station and puked. A lot. It isn't as bad as the stomach flu. Right after that, I felt great! Even though I really needed gum! Ew. 

    Since then, I haven't actually thrown up.. Which is super because I've been working a lot and I work at a place where puking is hard to hide. I haven't spread the news of my expectancy yet and I'd rather everyone not find out from me puking.

Early Morning Snack

     I woke up, just now, starving. It's around 7am, which is later than what is usually is when I wake up feeling like I haven't eaten in weeks! Usually I wake up around 3:30am-5am. I'm really sensitive to my sugar, so when I wake up it feels really low. I'm not sure whether to run for the bathroom because of the nausea, or run to the kitchen before my sugar bombs. 

     The first few times, I ignored it! I know, that's silly. My body is telling me what it needs. It's just so inconvenient to have to  eat a meal that early. My body is so tired. I'm so tired... And to have to get up and put something together? Terrible. 

     I definitely learned my lesson which is why I'm up right now, eating a weird assortment. With this sensitive stomach thing, it's hard to figure out what I can eat. So what do you do? Well, I just look in the fridge and pick out any food that in my head, I can't see making me sick. This is what I got!