Why Do I Feel So Alone?

      Let me tell you why I feel So alone during this pregnancy. First off, obviously I feel alone and hurt because R left me and our baby. That's definitely an important part, but the next thing is.. Everyone keeps telling me to brush it off and move on. Okay, after one month apart from him, I should think. Screw you, I'm not hurt at all, Adrian doesn't need you. No. I'm sorry if you think I'm the kind of person who just lets things go so easily. I trusted him, gave him everything , and he left me. I'm not being all mopey about it so there's no reason to constantly tell  me to just move on. If some day, I say.. I miss him today. TheN Deal with what I'm saying or leave me alone. I can miss him if I want to. I spent a year and a half talking to him every day. I'm allowed to miss him.

     Also, please do not tell me how to live my life. Do not tell me to go on welfare to get away from my family. If I need welfare, I'll get it. I will only apply for housing if it's necessary but is rather not live in a trashy neighborhood filled with druggies. I'd rather try really hard to pay for what we need with my own money. 

     I'm trying to make my life work. Yes, I get kicked down a lot. Don't tell me how to make my life better. I'm trying. I'm going to figure out. Stop putting me down.

     No one seems to care how I feel right now.. Or care about what I think. It just goes back to how they think I should feel or now they think I should be thinking. Back off. You're causing me more pain. You're the one making me cry at night, not my ex. It's you because you can't even bother to listen to what I'm saying. 

      I wish Adrian and I could move away. I wish he didn't have to be brought into a world that's hurting me. I wish I could finally be happy..